When yourbestie is down in the dumps, all you want to do is lift their spirits. We've got tons of ideas for how to cheer someone up, no matter the situation, with tips from doctors, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, life coaches, and more! There's no one-size-fits-all solution. If your pal isstressed about finals, you might take one approach, while you'd go a totally different route if they're upset over a breakup. There are obviously some tried and true methods (ice cream is a pretty universal pick-me-up), but because you might need to dig deep into your well of ideas to get your friend happy again, we're here to help.
One of the first things you have to figure out is if your friend needs a relatively simple mood-booster or more serious support. If they’ve been feeling under the weather for an extended period of time, it might be time to help them find a therapist or someone to talk to. Knowinghow to spot depression can be tough, but there is help out there. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration has a freeNational Hotline that connects people with information, referrals, and other mental health resources. Sometimes it can be best to let someone else your friend trusts know that they’re going through a rough time. In times of depression, a strong support system can make all the difference.
If you’re unsure whether your friend may be depressed, skip down to our sections on How to Tell If a Friend is Depressed and What to Do If Your Friend Is Depressed to help understand more signs to look for and how to help.
If your friend isn’t exhibiting the characteristics of depression, a quick pick-me-up may do the trick. Sure, some of the ideas here might be cheesy or feel silly, but didn't you say you'd do anything to lift your pal up? There is sure to be something on this list that can turn any frown upside down.
1. Ask Them If They Want Help
First off, find out if the person you’re trying to cheer up actually wants your help!Dr. Susan Edelman, who has spent 30 years as a practicing therapist in Palo Alto, California specializing in women’s issues, says, “it's important to get someone's permission to cheer them up. Otherwise it might feel to them like you're uncomfortable with how they feel and just want to make it go away. That isn't as likely to work to cheer them up.”
2. Simply Be There for Them
To get over breakups, a death in the family, or other serious incidents, people need time. "The best thing you can do to help them heal is to be there. Connect with them, give your time and energy without expecting anything in return. Patience is a virtue when it comes to grief," saysKelly Morrow-Baez, a licensed professional counselor.
3. Leave Your Friend a Handwritten Note
Notes are always a great way to let that friend, who maybe gets a little uncomfortable when it comes to the emotional stuff, know you still care. “It makes people feel thought of and you can provide words of affirmation. Alternatively, you could give them words or mantras to cheer them up and replace their automatic negative thought,” says Chicago-based psychotherapistKelley Kitley. Write something cute, fold it up, and slip it somewhere not-so-obvious for them to find later.
4. Swing the Blues Away
Even if you’re not lucky enough to live by this terrifying/ridiculous swingset at the end of the world, chances are you still have a pretty awesome playground somewhere close by. “Swinging is a great form of exercise,” saysDr. Nesochi Igbokwe, a physician and health writer based in New York City. “There are many added benefits to routine physical activity and exercise such as increased energy levels and improved mood. Endorphins released when you exercise may help combat feelings of depression.”
5. Go Get Some Ice Cream
Ice cream can always brighten someone’s day. Seriously, maybe a double scoop of rocky road is all they need. Or mint chip. Or chocolate brownie. Or butter pecan. (Now we want ice cream!)
6. Do Whatever They Want to Do
"Taking out at least an hour or two every week for an activity you enjoy can help you relax and de-stress. Coping mechanisms to deal with life stressors are crucial since chronic stress may make one susceptible to depression," says Dr. Igbokwe. Help your friend feel better by taking the time to do something they like to do, even if it’s playing video games.
7. Volunteer Together
"Research indicates that volunteering for others can build self-esteem. If your friend needs cheering up, volunteering for others can be both rewarding as well as a positive distraction from their emotional distress," saysDenise Limongello, a New York State-licensed master social worker. Your school probably has several opportunities for students looking to volunteer—just check with the guidance office.
8. Give Lots of Positive Reinforcement
"Science has shown that for every negative thought, we need three positive ones to counteract the negative one. That means negativity impacts us more than positivity, it sidelines us and makes us unhappy," says Dr. Erin Stair, a physician and health consultant who runsBlooming Wellness in New York. It might not have been you who put those negative thoughts into your friend's head, but you can totally help negate them — three positive statements at a time!
9. Bake Together
"Baking has been found to have a therapeutic effect which eases depression and anxiety. Because the act of measuring, mixing and paying attention to a recipe often takes your whole attention, you actually create 'peace' in your mind, which pushes away many negative thoughts and emotions. The delicious smells also produce happy feelings and if calories are of any concern, share them with a friend or donate them to a charity or local firehouse," says family coachErica McCurdy.
10. Take a Tech Break
Psychotherapist and life coachDr. Kelley Watts suggests you get them out of their bedroom and off electronics. "It can get more difficult to motivate [them] if [they] hole up in a cave in [their] pajamas binge watching Netflix."
11. Spend Quality Time Together
Turn off the TV, put your phone on silent, and just focus on being present and ready to listen. "Conversation will most likely take place, as well as just the enjoyment that comes out of receiving focused, quality time with someone that we care about. Anything that will enhance someone’s self-image and bring them out of their circling thoughts are all effective coping strategies within the world of mental health," says family therapistCrystal Rodenbaugh, who ownsTenfold Counseling in Kansas City.
12. Practice Compassion Meditation
Compassion meditation is something typically done alone, but everything is always more fun with a friend! Help your friend think of someone who has caused them harm and then “work on sending them good wishes, thoughts and vibes,” says Dr. Stair. "Wish them good health, good fortune, etc., and even forgive those who have mistreated you. There is a lot of power and positiveness in forgiveness."
13 Offer Them Flowers
Go to the florist, raid your dad’s garden, "borrow" from a park, or get your origami on, and make your friend a bouquet. If you want to step your game up, you could even send them a secret message with the flowers you choose.
14. Practice Yoga Together
Whether you guys sign up for a class or find a tutorial on YouTube, yoga is a great way to find your way back to happiness.
